Our Man of Steel.

Can't help myself...

Let us salute Howard, our brave, heroic PM
OPINION
Phillip Adams
March 10, 2007

I UNDERSTAND that some of you are considering voting for Kevin Rudd, simply because he's fresh, young, intelligent and full of energy and ideas. Sorry, but I sternly disapprove. As our PM points out, voters are faced with one of those stark choices that define electoral life. The choice of a hero (him) or a coward (Kevin).


Howard is no cowardy cowardy custard like cut ’n’ run Kev. Howard is, as he shyly confesses, up there with Samson, Simpson (and his donkey), Menzies, St George, Tarzan, Bradman, Batman and other heroic heroes worthy of hero-worship. In fact, heroic doesn’t begin to describe how brave, plucky, valiant, valorous, intrepid, lion- (and stout-) hearted, bold, unflinching, unshrinking, unafraid, dauntless, spirited, game, gutsy and spunky he is. Let us remember just a few examples of the courageous courage of the King of Kirribilli.

1. He bravely believed all that shonky “intelligence” and boldly got us into one of the nastiest, most irrational wars in history.

2. Dauntlessly ignoring the consequent human, political, strategic and regional wreckage, he pluckily continues to congratulate himself on being a military visionary.

3. He valiantly defends the presidency of George W. Bush, something that few among the Republican leadership have done since the midterms.

4. He valorously attacks the Democratic Party’s frontrunner in the presidential campaign and vilifies the entire Democratic Party (now controlling both Congress and Senate) as being God’s gifts to bin Laden. By displaying his intrepitude, if that’s a word, he heroically undermines the future of Australian-US relations. And that’s just the beginning of our leader’s lion-heartedness. Be proud of him, fellow Australians! Howard’s madder than Max.

5. Having boldly believed in fictitious facts to justify the invasion of Iraq, he bravely disbelieves the decades of scientific evidence about global warming and unflinchingly follows George W’s example in refusing to sign Kyoto.

6. Having pluckily done bugger-all about perhaps the biggest problem in human history, he dauntlessly and instantly backs nuclear power. Is there no end to his fearlessness? Was there no beginning?

7. Eclipsing Sir Francis Drake’s cool courage in the face of the Spanish Armada, our PM wages war on the Tampa and a few leaking boats full of those terroristic asylum-seekers.

8. and 9. Boldly accusing them of drowning their babies, he is stout-heartedly indifferent to the drownings of hundreds of refugees in SIEV X.

10. Howard heroically redraws the map of Australia and daringly opens a chain of Pacific prisons, while (11) adding extra razor wire to the mainland concentration camps.

12. And with heroic chutzpah he talks, indeed trumpets, about Australian values of tolerance, mateship and the fair go.

13. Valiantly extending the Pacific Solution to Guantanamo in Cuba, he pluckily permits David Hicks to spend five years in solitary, boldly ignoring the growing protests until they become deafening. Then (14), he courageously pretends to intervene on his behalf. The more you think of Howard’s heroics, the more examples come to mind. There was (15) his heroic role in the secret training of mercenaries in Dubai intended to attack those wicked wharfies, and (16, 17, 18 and 19) intrepid assaults on the republic, on the Bringing Them Home report on the stolen generation by the Humans Rights Commission, on “black armband” history and all that silly nonsense about reconciliation.

Many of us were equally thrilled when (20, 21 and 22), despite being busy with his wars on terror and Iraq, he found time to wage others. For example, wars on the ABC, the union movement, voluntary euthanasia and (23) Peter Costello. For whom, when it comes to euthanasia, the PM would make an exception.

And let us salute Howard for his courage in refusing to debate the cowardly, gutless Rudd on the Iraq war – either on TV (24) or in the House. That’s (25).

Australians have had many great generals – Monash comes to mind – but none have fought so many wars on so many fronts at once. Our PM has enough backbone for a museum full of fossilised dinosaurs – and more spirit, spunk, spine and mettle than our entire Olympic squad and Test team. That’s why I wholeheartedly support our lion-hearted leader – rather than Rudd, another Obama-style upstart, another cut ’n’ runner.

And let me say what the PM is too polite to say, despite his courageously courageous courage, lest he be accused of interfering in Australia’s internal affairs. Bin Laden and the rest of the world’s terrorists will be putting marks in their calendars and praying, praying, PRAYING for a Rudd victory on election day.